


It's Me

by Lalaen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Childhood Friends, Gen, Manga Spoilers, do people still say pre slash?, pre slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:59:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaen/pseuds/Lalaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During their childhood training, something goes wrong and causes Reiner to forget himself. Fortunately, as always, Bertholdt is there to help him remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Me

**Author's Note:**

> ugh i'm screaming so many dumb feelings berthoLDT HAS ALWAYS KEPT HIM SANE

The sun was starting to set, and Bertholdt was doing his best to enjoy a well-earned respite. His small body was stiff and aching with bruises; very little muscle and no baby fat to pad the bone despite the fact that he was not yet even nine years old. Already being four and a half feet tall probably didn't help much. Compared to Reiner and Berik he looked like he'd been stretched far too thin.

Tendrils of steam rose lazily from the shifting-induced welts in his cheeks. It was something he was far too accustomed to, and so he paid it little mind. What he did pay mind to was the stocky blond boy in the field before him. He was out of earshot, but seeing as he could only manage one shift a day he was more than allowed to be over here. In fact, he'd been encouraged to go back to his bunk and rest.

He'd much rather stay around and watch Reiner shift.

Bertholdt thought Reiner's titan was really cool. He got told a lot that his own was special, but he didn't think so. He was slow and clumsy and impossible to miss. He felt like he could be seen for miles and miles around, and that made his chest tight. Moving inside of his titan was like swimming in one of those dreams where your whole body was numb and everything was in slow-motion, and he could only manage a few minutes at most. 

Reiner was strong and unstoppable.

The adults were backing up, leaving the small boy in the field alone as they retreated to what they deemed a safe distance, though it was considerably closer than they stood when Bertholdt shifted. He sat up a little more to watch his friend as he raised a hand to his mouth. The determination on his face was visible even from such a distance, and the tall boy felt a swell of pride and admiration.

There was a plume of steam, and in its wake stood the massive fifteen meter titan that Bertholdt was now used to. He knew he should probably be intimidated, like he was by everything else - while the other two stood straight-backed and tall, he often ended up cowering under the harsh hands of their instructors. Even at the best of times, he could be found trailing behind his two friends.

Since he was always the odd one out when it came time for shifting exercises, sometimes he'd get to help. Reiner would pick him up with large, plated hands; touching him with utmost gentleness. Bertholdt had even been held inside his mouth once, and not for a moment felt threatened. However, all he really saw when he looked at the titan was Reiner, and Reiner did not scare him.

Now was one of those times that Reiner seemed a little agitated at their instructors, and the tall boy took secret pleasure in it. It was not something that would be punished later unless he got very violent, so it mostly served to frustrate them. Whatever they wanted him to do he did not appear to be doing, and Bertholdt wondered if it really was his angry subconscious or if he was giving them a hard time on purpose.

Whichever it was, he was going to congratulate his friend on it later. He wished he had the guts to do things like that. Sometimes he told himself that he would, that this time he'd stand up for himself, that this time he'd at least lift his head and give a defiant look; but in the end he always found himself quietly agreeing with his gaze to the ground. Berik had told him before that he needed to be less meek, but Reiner never pushed him. 

Bertholdt stopped enjoying it and started to worry when Reiner didn't settle. In fact, he seemed to be getting increasingly violent. Suddenly the tall boy wished Berik hadn't gone back to his bunk, so he'd have someone to reassure him that it was okay. Surely, he was worrying too much; but if Reiner kept this up he'd surely get beaten for it. He was growling, acting increasingly aggressive when approached. Feeling more and more uneasy, Bertholdt got to his feet without even knowing why.

He was notoriously bad at reading people, and as titans with static facial expressions it was even harder, but he did know Reiner and he would swear that the other boy was acting confused more than angry.

Then there was yelling - Bertholdt was pretty sure they were telling him to come out, but he couldn't make out enough words to be positive. For a moment it looked like Reiner wasn't going to do anything at all, but then the titan crumpled to its knees. The tall boy knew, from that moment that there was something wrong. As the huge body fell, plumes of steam obscured his vision. There was more shouting, largely indistinguishable, and he felt himself take a hesitant step forwards despite the fact that his heartbeat was fluttering in his throat. Above the hulking, partially-obscured form of the decomposing titan he saw the small outline of his friend emerging. This was not abnormal.

What he heard was, and it chilled him to the marrow.

The feral cry of a titan rent the air; a sound from a throat far too small to bear it. Bertholdt did not wait to see the adults trying to reach his friend, was already running when Reiner came up swinging.

Bertholdt was a fast runner, and his feet pounded the dirt to close the distance between them. He hadn't needed to see those things, he hadn't even needed to hear that unnatural scream. In his gut, he'd already known that something had gone terribly wrong.

Reiner was hunched over, chest heaving like a winded horse; torn and bloody arms spewing steam. His face was contorted in a snarl, his brow furrowed, his eyes devoid entirely of any recognition, any of the spark of his personality. Every muscle on his small, stocky frame was bulging. The tendons in his neck stood out like he was a man three times his age. He was a caricature of himself, looking in no way like a boy of only nine.

Though the adults shouted at Bertholdt to stay back, he did not stop; nor did he stop when his friend span on him and loosed a savage growl. 

He could not fear Reiner.

He did not shake as he reached out. His hand was straight and flat, the universal gesture to yield. 

There was silence around them when the blond did stop in his tracks. His gaze focused on Bertholdt, and it was easy to mistake that for a flash of something in his eyes.

"Reiner," his voice was very soft but uncharacteristically sure. His friend's head twitched, tilted imperceptibly to the side. "Reiner…" his hand twisted at the wrist, fingers slowly relaxing and curling; inviting him closer in the smallest way.

His shoulders dropped just a little. The adrenaline coursing through his veins was almost palpable, the tension was not gone, but he was no longer an instant from attack.

Bertholdt saw the man approach in his peripheral vision and his heart leapt into his throat. "No!" It was a high-pitched child's shriek, and it was too late because Reiner span on his heel; face an angry rictus. Suddenly the tall boy was dizzy with fear, his hand trembled as he stumbled forwards a step, helpless to stop it.

Reiner bowled through the man, shoulder lowered in a charge. He spun again, a penned and prodded bull looking for something to gore.

Except it was only Bertholdt who approached him, only Bertholdt who dared. 

With a snarl, Reiner charged again. The tall boy had no time to do anything but squeeze his eyes shut before impact. Even when he was knocked flat on his back by Reiner's bulk, wind knocked out of his lungs, he was not afraid. He could not be afraid - he was numb to the fact that the one person who would never hurt him had just tried, so strong was his belief.

There was a heavy weight on him, and he opened his eyes to see Reiner staring impenetrably down at him. The boy's arms were on either side of his head, messily supporting him. He wasn't bothering to hold down Bertholdt's arms, likely didn't even have the presence of mind to.

Bertholdt did not have to think about it. He twined his long arms around his friend's neck, pulling him close, the motion so natural that it required no thought at all.

At first, there was no reaction. Reiner did not pull away, his muscles did not loosen. He did not move at all. The tall boy paid no mind to the sweat on his back or the residual blood on his arms or the harsh panting that pushed their chests together with every breath, simply continuing the embrace with blind faith.

"Reiner, it's me." It was nothing but a whisper.

All at once, the bigger boy collapsed. His body went limp, the fight going out of him in one shaky breath. He trembled against his friend's much thinner chest, and Bertholdt did not need any more confirmation that he was no longer holding a titan. He blinked, turning his head to look at Reiner, who was so close they almost bumped noses. His friend had broken into more of a sweat than before, and behind the worried confusion in his dark eyes was a tiny hint of fear.

"Bertholdt."


End file.
